just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
