problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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