What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
