Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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