just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
