Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
