i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
