Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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