I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize