And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
