So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
