i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
