Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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