I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
