I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize