that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
