I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
