hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize