We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
