Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize