So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
