no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
