drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I wear drunk well.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
