In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
