Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He? As in you personified your dick?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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