You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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