I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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