just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
