It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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