He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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