I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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