do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I want her autograph on my taint
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
