foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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