jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
time to smoke my breakfast
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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