shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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