Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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