what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize