perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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