I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
