So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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