Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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