I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
