It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
