Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's rum buckets o'clock
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
