Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
