Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
