It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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