laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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