If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
