Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize