I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
ttyl tear gas
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
