WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
