is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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