when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
