Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
