Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize