No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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