my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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