A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
