I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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