some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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