Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
