He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
