Are we in a gay sports bar?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
