am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
