I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
