at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
