i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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