So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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