Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
